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Blog Introduction

This blog is the story of how my husband and I faced the illness and death of two of our children. Each blog post is essentially a chapter in the story, so in order to truly understand it, you are going to benefit by starting at the beginning.
I hope you find our story touching, and in some way find comfort and hope through it as you face your own storms in life.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Confirmation and Scoping out the Land

For nine months we quietly mulled over the changes which had occurred in our hearts during our trip to Slovenia.  The feelings hadn't changed after this time period; in fact, they had increased.  We began to wonder if God was asking us to go there on a more permanent basis.  We prayed; then we slowly began to confide in trusted advisers and a few close friends.  We needed to know if this was indeed God's leading, or if it was just a heart-touching trip.  I prayed for confirmation.  "Please God, if this is your will for our lives, make it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt".  Within days, things began to happen.  Bible verses began to jump from the pages. Never one to be an "open your Bible, point to a verse, and that's what God is speaking to you today" kind of person, I was really taken back when one day I flipped open a devotional book I wasn't even using at the time, and this verse stood out; "And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for My sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will have eternal life." (Matt. 19: 29)  We certainly would be giving those things up to move to Slovenia.  It was reassuring that the heartache of leaving family behind, not knowing if we'd see them again on this side of eternity, would be rewarded, and it brought a sense of comfort. Sermons were so directly related to our prayers, that we found ourselves crying during them.  Songs on the radio all suddenly seemed to have a missions theme.  Every message we heard, whether radio, spoken or written word, either directly or indirectly said, "Go".

During this time, we had asked people to pray for us.  Even those who didn't have the slightest idea of what was happening in our hearts began praying words of confirmation.  One Wednesday night in church, Rob's cousin turned to me in the middle of class and whispered in my ear, "God's going to take you to a foreign country."  I sat in my chair nearly frozen with astonishment and awe at the words I had just heard.  Things like this hadn't happen to me before.  I later asked her why she had said that, and she told me she didn't know other than she had felt it for a long time, and knew that God had done something in us when we went to Slovenia.  She knew we had come back different.

A month later, during a wedding reception, I quietly told a friend we felt we were being called to go to Slovenia.  A huge grin crossed her face as she said, "I've been waiting for confirmation of that.  I could see a love in your eyes for those people after you came back."  I was always surprised when people weren't surprised by our announcement. To me, it should have been shocking news, but in reality, God had already whispered it in their spirits, both to prepare them, and to bring confirmation to us.

Nearly a year had passed since we had traveled to that distant land, and with so much confirmation coming to us from so many different venues, we could not help but see the pieces of our future starting to come together.  This was not just an idealistic plan to move to another country, it was becoming clear that God had plans for us there.  Our next step would be a more practical one; what would it take for us to make this move?  How much was the cost of living? How would we make an income? What about housing, and school for Mike? What about our house and possessions here?  Rent it out? Sell it?  There were still many, many details which needed to be examined and prepared for.  So in April of 2000, Rob boarded a jet to Slovenia to "scope out the land". He spent two weeks living with a missionary family we knew there, exploring what the future would cost us.
We could not have foreseen that this move would cost us nearly everything, but it would be worth it.

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