Blog Introduction

This blog is the story of how my husband and I faced the illness and death of two of our children. Each blog post is essentially a chapter in the story, so in order to truly understand it, you are going to benefit by starting at the beginning.
I hope you find our story touching, and in some way find comfort and hope through it as you face your own storms in life.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Hidden Pain

She could see herself standing outside at the corner of a large stone building.  Repeatedly, she drew back her arm and flailed it against the wall- harder and harder each time, as if she was trying to knock the building down with each blow.  She could see the tears and anguish on her own face, but they were not due to her arm beating, for her arm never broke or hurt. She felt no pain. But what was the need? She didn't want to hurt herself, or knock the building down for that matter, but the image kept coming to her. Tears, flailing arm, pervasive anguish...
Somewhere the pain of a tremendous loss had been locked down deep inside of her.  So sequestered was this pain, that even she herself did not know it had been there for many years.  Only the images which flashed through her mind, and the haunting dreams she began to have, would reveal to her the cause, and the need for healing she had.
This woman was me.

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